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Catch up time!

Eek 5 days since a post? where does the time go? 

So what's happened since I was last here? On Tuesday it was Daz's birthday and I went in to the high school to visit her and all her little posse. I was very surprised to find out that her friends had planned a party for her as a surprise. There was cake and food and of course the cheesy speech. Daz got very emotional about it all, I don't blame her. I never got anything like that at school and she was so taken aback by it all. She made a little video of the mini party, seen below. See if you can spot when I walk into the room.

Daz is also going to Malawi next year with the school to do some volunteer work. She's gorgeous and charitable. So she's got a lot of fundraising to do to pay for the whole trip (yep, she's got to make money to give money) but she's incredibly excited about it. Don't blame her myself. But the girls who did the trip when I was at the school were prissy overachievers only worried about how good they looked in front of the cameras. Hurray for not caring!

On Wednesday I went to Dundee with Petsa for a catch up dinner and shop. Of course we spent most of the time in the bookshops and I did not come away empty handed. Stephen Fry's book on how to write poetry, The Ode Less Travelled, was on sale and there was no way this Fryphile was leaving the shop without it. I don't plan on writing poetry but it's an awesome book and very informative and witty, of course. I also got the first series of Pushing Daisies. Chuck/Ned/Olive are awesome! Actually everything about the show is amazing. Why did they cancel it? WHY? Petsa got Battle Royale and Sweeney Todd - suitably less sweet and calming book/DVD combo than mine. Good choices though. Then we went to the Indian buffet for a good curry. You can't get good curry in Edinburgh.

Today me, my mum and Daz went to see The Boat That Rocked. It's Richard Curtis' new movie based around the stories of the pirate radio stations in the 1960s who played rock and pop music from ships in the North Sea. I love Curtis despite his forays into sentimentality and cheesiness and this was no exception. It wasn't his best, nowhere near as good as his TV work, but it was a fun, frothy movie with a great soundtrack and a fantastic cast. So many awesome actors and I would gladly kiss the ground most of them walk on. Sadly not enough Chris O' Dowd or Rhys Darby but is there ever? I spent the entire time trying to figure out who played the ship's cook then it hit me that it was her from The IT Crowd! I want to work with Richard Curtis. Floor sweeper, tea maker - give me any job! It's a love letter to music and friendship and it's perfect if you just want to relax. I still haven't seen The Damned United or Two Lovers (recent flat mouse invasion ruined that) so I might catch up with them soon.

How did you do?

English (Advanced Higher) - C
Religious Studies (Advanced Higher) - No Award
French (Advanced Higher) - No Award

I feel so angry with myself, so stupid, such a failure. I know I shouldn't care because I am already in university unconditionally, I'm so lucky that way, but my overachieving traits are going into guilt overdrive. If  can't even pass advanced higher, how will I pass university level?


Prom Report.

 After all the fuss, chaos and general bitching that went into organising the thing, the prom went surprisingly well. I had fun and everybody looked gorgeous! The highlights of the day:

* Getting my hair and make-up done by my friend Paula. She was more excited than I was. She kept the make-up subtle so I didn't feel caked under. The whole look, complete with dress, fascinator and shoes, was very 1920s flapper girl inspired. I wanted to be a bit unique and Paula certainly helped me achieve that. The heels were agony but it was the first time I'd ever worn a pair so it was an experience if nothing else.

* Going to the prom in a Range Rover with 2 of my friends. Nobody else came in one of those vehicles. Petsa and Ryan looked great.

* Seeing everybody all dressed up and looking beautiful. Everyone was so complimentary to each other, it put me at ease. Except for one girl who looked me up and down like some sort of inspection, cow! 

* The dancing. The music was totally naff but you don't go for the quality, it's all about the atmosphere. How come nobody admits to liking Bay City Rollers but when the music starts they all know the words to Shang A Lang? Of course there was the usual appearance of 500 Miles which had everyobe on their feet, it wouldn't be a party without that song.

* The awards. The former prefects put together a joke award ceremony which had such awards as "Cheesiest Smile" and "Biggest Puker." I was rather surprised to find myself nominated for Biggest Imagination! I didn't win but it was an interesting gesture. Wonder why I was nominated...

* The best compliment ever. At one point in the night, my old geography teacher Mr Anderson (total legend) came up to me, gave me a hug and said "You are so unique!" He might have been drunk but it made me smile all night. It's nice to know I might have actually made an impression. I hated that place but I will miss a lot about it.

Prize giving/Soul taking.


I said that my last ever day of school was sometime in May. Then I had to go in for exams and I thought that was it. Then I got a letter telling me I'd won a prize for religious studies at advanced higher so I'd have to go to the prize giving ceremony. But before I could do that, I had to go to the rehearsal. In full school uniform. I couldn't find my tie so I went without it. I had plans to burn the thing but that never materialised. 

The moment I went into that hallway I felt 6 years old. Those jerks who used to look down on me when we were i the same year were all there, in their snobby uniforms with the prefect badges and stuff, peering down their noses like they're somehow better than me. The former head boy, lapdog leader as I called him, obviously couldn't wait to be back in some position of power for one day. Some people just don't change I guess, and neither do the people who ran my old school. They continued to talk down to us, be really condescending and act like they were all high and mighty. We were told to sit in an exact order so when our time came we could just stand up in that order and go to the stage, but it didn't quite work like that and we ended up shuffling around to fit. I knew the entire thing was going to be a mess but even I didn't realise how hypocritical it would be. On the night I told my parents they didn't have to come because they would be super bored. Dad almost took the offer! The football was on so I don't blame him. So I turned up at the school on the night half an hour early like I was told. This being me, I took a book along, Moab Is My Washpot (Stephen Fry). Damn I love that man, he is probably one of my idols. He got me through quite a bit of boredom too so for that I owe him! 

The ceremony started and I managed to restrain the desire to stab out my eardrum for all of 5 minutes! It wasn't a cremony to congratulate the students for doing well, it was an excuse for the rector and the deputy rector (who dounds like the boring teacher in Ferris Beuller's Day Off)  to give themselves a big pat on the back for doing oh so well in every bloody national competition they insisted on entering. They went on about the ambitions of the school, which we all know means to cover up possible problems with sticky tape and hope it holds. It got even worse when they brought on a guest speaker. Granted he was quite funny but when he started rattling on about having pride in your school I turned off. I cannot have pride in a place that basically made me feel unimportant for 6 years. The place that did nothing when I was being bullied, where I had several breakdowns due to stress and they dismissed it as silly, run by people who were more concerned about whether I was wearing a tie than whether I was coping. These are the people that made sure that 4 of the senior prefects out of 8 were the children of teachers in the school. I know what a democracy is but they don't seem to know. I like my hometown but if that school gets burned down, I'll dance around it tribal style. 

Time came to get my prize, we were rounded up behind the stage in the order the deputy head would read out, where we would walk on stage looking incredibly proud of ourselves and pick it up. Backstage the evil, bitter, power hungry, old hag who works in the office staff informed us that we wouldn't be given our prizes unless our ties were right up to our throats and we took off all black jerseys or in my case waistcoats. She literally grabbed my waistcoat the moment it was off and didn't give me time to tell her the reason I was wearing it was because it covered up a missing button on my shirt. These are the school's priorities, looking superficially fine. So I give kudos to one girl who refused to take hers off on the basis that her shirt was see through and she didn't want everyone to see it. I totally understand this so why didn't the office witch? What is her problem exactly? My mum used to be a cleaner at the school and says she was really bossy to her and treated her like mud because apparently her job wasn't as important as the hag's. Congratulations hag, you are officially the stupidest woman in Blair High. And the competition is high!

My prize was a £10 WH Smith book token. Better than nothing I suppose. I'm going to buy a Stephen Fry book and a packet of crisps. My sister cheered for me which made me smile. It was also a bit anger inducing to see the big prizes and trophies going to the lapdogs and people I know didn't deserve it. One guy got an award for school service when he was most famous all year for mooning the rector while drunk at the Burns Supper. One girl I know got a massive trophy for service to the school when she admitted that she'd done nothing! I'm not bitter or jealous, I'm just weary because my sister still has 3 more years at this place, competing with teachers' kids and trying to get her voice heard. By the end of the night, my dad was texting people to find out the football scores, my sister wanted to kill me for dragging her there when I told her she didn't need to come and my gran was groaning about how nothing had changed in the 50 years since she'd been there! That's depressing. Well, ater the ball tonight, I never have to see half those people again!

Possible speeches...

I am picking up a prize tomorrow from my 'beloved' high school's prize giving. I am pretty damn happy that 6 years of hard graft in religious studies have paid off (read: Moaning and arguing against God) but it does mean that I will have to go into that urine soaked shit hole wearing full school uniform (eh?) and sit through a rehearsal before the actual thing! Considering the pain that place brought me, I would rather not go. But the lure of the book token is dragging me in. I'm not allowed a speech but a girl can dream. Here are a few I thought about:

"Thank you for this award, I didn't realise my mum was a teacher here! Good to know you let the favouritism drop in favour of genuine hard work."

"Go fuck yourself Mr Millar!" (My dad has offered me £100 to say this!)

"I'm K to da D and this is how I roll. You got beef with me, you kiss my A Double S Hoooole!" (Thank you Russell Howard)

"Barbarella!!!" (inside joke with my religious studies department)

"Mr Devine (deputy head), are you aware of how closely you resemble Kilroy?"

"Oi Keith, have you seen the Shreddies?"


The great work begins...

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November 2012



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